Mine

The things no one tells you...

I'm pretty experienced. I've always loved to experiment and I've been through it all, almost. Anything I haven't done though, is usually covered by other bloggers, just waiting for my inquiring mind. This is great because it gives you confidence going into it...

But it seems, there's always some things people never talk about.... the "not as pretty" realities of sex.

First thing no one told me:

The delayed downpour:

So just got done with a steamy romp with a partner you trust enough to be condom free huh? Being handed a towel to clean up is awesome and courteous and a quick wipe down and you're good...

But then you STAND up. About 15 seconds later the flood comes and you're waddling as quickly as 

you can to the ladies, hoping it doesn't reach your ankles before you get there.

Lesson number 2: no, you AREN'T a gymnast.

Think the kamasutra has nothing on you, huh? Sure, you can get into all of those positions with ease...

Ever think to stretch first? I've learned now if I want crazy sex I need to sneak away to stretch first after a harrowing incident in which my hip popped out and I had to punch my partner to get him off because the pain was blinding.

Moral: limber up.

Lesson 3: what control?

As seen in my anal trilogy, you think you have things under control and then you take the dick out and WHAM, one deep breath and you're paying gas. See your muscles get stretched out and your iron control is non-existent.

Lesson 4: cum farts?

Yeah. Those are a thing. I know, gross, right? No one talks about those. You dabble in the world of anal and think you're a rock star... then someone cums in your ass and you think you've cleaned up...

Until an hour later, when no one is home and you have to fart. It's not pretty. It's awful to think of, but I think it's worse to have it unexpectedly happen to you.

Lesson 5: fishing in the dark

So you just got done with your sexy romp. You're both sweaty, sated, and enjoying those last few moments connected. But don't wait too long! As his body goes back to normal, your body might decide to keep a rubbery memento... once the condom gets stuck inside the game of paper, rock, scissors over who has to fish out the party favor is always awkward!

Sex is awesome, but there are some awkward, messy, weird and crazy things that go along with it. 

Comment and tell me some of your pro tips.

Also, see who is talking dirty, and probably more of the pleasant kind...

From Inside

I find you irresistible,
even through the blur of my tears
A dark shadow of a man
whose hands bruise
whose lips heal
Dominates
my thoughts, my passion, my body
You read me
my short breaths
my long moans
clenched muscles
You provide pain and pleasure
fulfill a dream
a fantasy
whispered secrets
Touch my skin, mark me yours
with your cock
fingertips
daring tongue
Test my limits, find my walls
From the inside

TMI: Men ask

1. Advizor:
I once overheard in a bathroom, “There is nothing as over-rated as sex or under-rated as a good bowel movement.” Discuss.

■Like Beck said: "clearly this person isn’t having the same sex as I am." Though with age, or meds, or heavily constipated, I'm sure that a good bowel movement would be pleasurable and relieving, just not nearly as much as sex - depending on their sex life and necessity of such bodily function.

2. the late phoenix:
Friendship lasts longer than cumming. which of your online friends that you’ve never met would you like to meet in real life? which do you think you could become life-long REAL friends with? Actual friends, like going out to coffee and movies with, gossiping with, kissing on the forehead, hugging, loving.

■There are so many people! Gaming I just met two over the summer, and one certainly fits the bill with the above. For bloggers, I can't wait to meet to Molly and her husband, Curvaceous Dee seems like she'd be amazing fun, and especially JohnDStories because both of us sisters are madly in love with him.

3. John D Stories:
In a parallel universe, who out of your blog or Twitter followers would you most like to spend a steamy evening with? What would you do? Why them?

■Such a difficult question to narrow to just one, so I'll go with the first man who made me want to straddle him from an image on SinfulSunday, Through the Lens

4. Virtual Sin:
(multi-part question)
a. What method of stimulation (intercourse, oral, manual, toy, whatever) gives you the strongest orgasm?
■Though his fingers will hit the gspot consistently and make me squirt, it is still intercourse that gives me the longest and strongest orgasms.

b. With what method of stimulation do you get the most orgasms?
■Would still be intercourse, again, a close second to his fingers.

c. If the answer to a is different from the answer to b, what’s wrong with your life?
■Orgasms are amazing, regardless.

5. Jon Pressick:
Would you rather have a life where you only had sex once a year for 2 minutes or where you have to have sex, every day for a minimum of 2 hours?

■The first one hardly even seems an acceptable answer. How is this even comparable?! I would love the second option.

Bonus:
Nero:
Is there anyone on your partner’s side of the family you find hot? If you could hook up with them without anyone finding out (ever!) would you?

■Don't find anyone hot in his family, though he thought I'd find his sister hot.

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Slut

Come be sinful with me...

Elust 49

Photo courtesy of Love Hate Sex Cake

Welcome to e[lust] - The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you're looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it'll be here at e[lust]. Want to be included in e[lust] #50? Start with the newly updated rules, come back September 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

~ This Month’s Top Three Posts ~

A pill for that?
When I Get Annoyed, Shit Happens.
The Dildo Wars- Dildology & Doc Johnson

~ Featured Post (Molly’s Picks) ~

Sense, Sensibility and Censorship
Triggers, Asses and Subby Places.
~ Readers Choice from Sexbytes ~
There is no Freedom Without Risk
All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!

Blogging

Decisions, Decisions....
Voyeurism Rant About Blogger/WordPress & Host

Thoughts & Advice on Kink & Fetish

FIFTY SHADES OF GREY IS OFFENSIVE
Beautiful Rope Work - Easier than you think
Kinky Assumptions
As I promised...a singletail video!
Bootblacking
Chronic Fatigue and BDSM
NSA BDSM: Failure and Success
Supporting your dominant's dominance
How to Get Your Boyfriend to Spank You

Sex News, Opinion, Interviews, Politics & Humor

Rabbit Vibrators: How to measure for fitting
Acting! Thank You!
TItty Fucking
What's Wrong With Sexy Scientists?

Erotic Non-Fiction

Keep Me Nasty
No Safewords
Being on the Ropes
The Lead Up
My Birthday Spankings#BirthdaySpankingsforRei
More Like An Earthquake
Lessons
Stag at a sex party
A Fan of Fans
Let the rain come
Gangbang Club
The Polka-Dot Dress
Dinner for Two

Erotic Fiction

The (Not So) Innocent
Master's Bad Day
When She Comes
Summer Storm
Lolita Twenty-Thirteen, Part Seven
Eight Ball
A Hole in the Pack

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

He hears me.
Why Doesn't She Respond to Cunnilingus?
I Don't Rape.
5 Reasons Straight Men Fear MFM Threesomes
Cap D'Adge and swinging
Boys & Their Toys
Anal Sex is Motherf***ing Awesome
Words of Wisdom
Seeing Red

FFF: Challenge

FFF - Who's watching? _follow to see who else is writing

Word Length = 200
Required Phrase = Obligation
Forbidden Words = Payment, Prediliction, Prostitution
Extra Credit = Make it personal
Bonus Words = 25 extra for explaining the tuxedos, 25 more if this isn't about the money

She had an obligation. She was to belong to the men in the room, to be whatever they wished for her to be. That was what her lover demanded, and his will was her pleasure, proof of devotion and love.

"Caress the tips of your breasts," was the first request, and she did until they stiffed and rose, gazing down instead of the men. One man was silent the entire time, almost detached from her actions, the other issuing the commands.

When he commanded she strip of her panties and ride him, she felt a pleasure in following through. She was good at being on top, knew when to tease and when to grind.

He grabbed her hips, and she was swiftly reassured in his moans, his body beginning to perspire, his hands clenching her more, and his hips thrusting. She arched back and her own scream of pleasure erupted.

She looked at the other man in the room, his body calm and composed. Did he even watch them, she wondered. She felt drawn to him, compelled to make him want her, to wrest the same pleasure from him, to make her lover proud. She felt herself growing excited with the challenge.