That's right. We've all heard it, in fact, we have all probably said it at some point. Online dating has taught me a thing or two about the classic lines people passively use for "Let's have sex".
The most prolific of our offenders:
1) "Let's watch a movie"
Let's watch a movie is such a commonly used statement that even the most novice person on the dating scene knows it's merely code for "let's have a movie playing in the background while we have awkward, groping couch sex".
2) "Why don't I cook you dinner at my place, maybe have a bottle of wine..."
This is the classy way of saying "I want to lure your to my house with promises of a meal, then get you pleasantly buzzed before I cajole you into my lair, where we have sex."
Moscato is a gateway drug to bad food and sex!
3) "We can just hang out at my place, get to know each other..."
This one isn't even just blatantly obvious, it's cheap too! Dude, if you want me to come knock boots after hardly knowing you, at least fork over the couple bucks for Red Box!
There are a lot more examples of these euphemisms for let's have hot steamy casual sex, but it seems like, with the false courage people are getting from the variety provided by the internet, even a simple dinner out leads to expectations.
I'm sorry, simply because you paid for my meal doesn't mean I OWE you, and even if I like you, if you assume we're hooking up I am then forced to disappoint my inner slut and shut you down.
It's become such a common trend on my dating sites that I even posted a joke about people's unrealistic dating expectations on the internet:
"Sorry boys, I don't believe in anal on the first date"
Because truly, the assumption of sex on a first date is as unrealistic as the assumption that I'm going to believe you when you say you're packing 9 inches...
Come see who else is being wicked...