I didn't mean to become their Morale officer... Seriously, it was unintentional.
In military lingo, a "Morale officer" is a woman who has sexual relations with the unit... THE WHOLE UNIT.
Now, it wasn't as bad as all that, however I did sleep my way through their enlisted command structure, just in time for deployment.
It was a complete, sexy, lascivious accident. When Ex and I broke up, we had been together for almost 6 years... OF COURSE I HAD A SLUT FEST! My sex life with Ex was horrible. It rarely happened, there was no foreplay, and we had premature ejaculation problems that we never did work around. That was a glaring deficit in our relationship.
I first met One right after I decided I could no longer be in my relationship. It was a hard choice to make and took a very long time to make it. I was depressed, downtrodden, and completely lost. One night I went out with a girlfriend and we saw a man she knew. He was 6'8 to my 5 ft and exuded sex. There really wasn't a question about where I was going that night. In fact, my friend arranged everything because all I could do was stare and fantasize. After 6 years, going home with One was like being a teenager again.
One of the things that frustrated me about my previous sex life was that Ex always treated me like I was breakable, when all I wanted was to be manhandled. I could tell instantly, One didn't think I was breakable and if he did then he wanted me to shatter. He tossed me around like a rag doll, made me do what HE wanted, and if I said "ow" he ignored it unless I asked him to stop...
I didn't ask him to stop much. The sex was incredible and lasted forever. Round after round of virile foreplay, sex, breath, repeat. I went home with some small bruises and a huge grin. He was just what I needed at the time and helped me reclaim my own sexuality.
After a time I started dating again and I met this great guy Two. We spent a lot of time together having fun, drinking with friends, and acting young. Then I finally took him to bed....That was the end of that relationship. At one point during the sex I wanted to tell him to put his pants back on, and for God's sake stop making that noise! After evaluating my 6 year relationship I decided I would never compromise on sex again.
Two had introduced my best friend Ava to one of his friends, so while I was no longer seeing Two I was seeing his friend regularly with Ava. We'd all go out and different people would join our group. That's how I was introduced me to Staff Sargent (truly, that's all I knew him by). Rawr. The man was a glorious package of wit, rippling muscle, and rock hard desire. He tied me to my bed with my satin ties and worked my body over for hours. When he finally untied me I rode him hard and had orgasm after orgasm. We broke my bed that night. It was casual sex at it's finest and I wouldn't take it back for the world.
Ava and her man got along pretty well so he was a recurring part of our lives for a few months. Their relationship was casual, but ongoing. While his unit was getting ready for deployment the amount of time spent out increased. The ladies of my group had no complaint about joining in the fun.
We were all out enjoying the entertainment to be had at one of or local stripclubs when I met The Boot. The term "Boot" is used in a derogatory way by more seasoned veterans about people who have just graduated from boot camp.
The kid was 19, had graduated boot camp the week prior, and was going on a very dangerous deployment, with no experience or time in the unit, the following week.
He also apparently had a huge crush on me. Ava's friend broached the subject with me and I told him that if The Boot wanted to talk to me then he should, you know, talk. I was advised candidly: "go easy on him, he's probably not coming back from this deployment. He's either going to get killed, or get someone else killed."
I had no idea how to respond to that especially after I had this adorable young guy so shyly try to start a conversation and pick up an older, more seasoned woman who would probably eat him alive in bed.
I did the only thing I could do.
I rocked that young Boot's world so hard he couldn't walk straight. I blew him until his knees went out, I asked about his fantasies and immediately went about trying to fulfill as many as I could. You want to bring a vibrator into bed? Go for it! On top on bottom, in front of the mirror, pull my hair, smack my ass until it's glowing red? Sure thing! He was young, inexperienced, and not the best lay I'd had. If not for their deployment, I probably wouldn't have brought him home. How though, could I have said no? It didn't hurt anyone, and at least this way he was leaving with an incredible night to remember when stuck out there for months.
The day before they were set to deploy Ava and I ran into her man at the club. We also ran into One from months before. They were together...they were in the same unit. Along with Staff Sargent and The Boot and Two....
Shit. Shit, shit, shit. No one knew. And it was only then that even I realized I had slept with FOUR men in the same UNIT. While it may have been over the course of 6 months, during the course of their 6 months deployment the chances were zero that they wouldn't all figure out that I had slept my way down their command structure.
Sure enough, upon their return I found out that everyone knew. I was the units' Morale Officer. Everyone just kind of found it humorous, and in fact a couple of them asked for return visits; I declined. Now whenever some hot military man in this town approaches me, there's a tiny voice in the back of my head praying he's not with this particular unit. When it has happened, I decline developing a relationship. Let me be a legend then, of a deployment, that had a few men a bit more relaxed before they left.
As a tax-paying American and supporter of the military, let me thank you personally for your service to our troops. I hope they all came back for more, because that means they all came back.ReplyDelete
I loved this sassy and illuminating piece of writing. Bravo, lady;)ReplyDelete